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[thrive_text_block color=”note” headline=””]Step 5 to gain husbandly leadership will teach you a simple make-or-break truth about what leaders are meant to do inside marriage. This particular lesson hits close to home because it is one of those things that I personally struggle with. [/thrive_text_block]
One of the most important traits of an effective leader is the ability to make decisions. As the husband, you need to be capable of making a firm decision and not waffle back and forth about it.
In other words, [thrive_highlight highlight=’#eeee22′ text=’dark’]do what you say and say what you do[/thrive_highlight].
As I said, this is something that I have personally struggled with…
[thrive_headline_focus title=”IT’S IN MY NATURE TO BE INDECISIVE” orientation=”center”]
By default, I don’t like making tough decisions, and I have a hard time sticking to my guns once I’ve made them. I’m NOT a naturally gifted decision maker.
Even worse, when pressured to change my mind, it doesn’t take much for me to give in.
However, read this carefully:
[pullquote align=”normal”]Indecision is unattractive [/pullquote]
Your wife wants you to know what you want.
[one_half_first]Confidently saying “yes” or “no” is attractive and let’s your wife know you care about the decision being made.[/one_half_first][one_half_last]Apathetically saying “I don’t know, you pick” is the worst way to initiate a passionate date night.[/one_half_last]
It took me a very long time and many difficult lessons to fully comprehend this simple truth of husbandly leadership:
[pullquote align=”normal”]You must be able to make clear cut decisions, and you must have the guts to stand by what you decide.[/pullquote]
Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t be sensitive to the needs and wants of your wife…
Certainly, you should. But, there is a big difference between consideration and indecision.
[thrive_text_block color=”light” headline=”HERE’S A QUICK TRICK:”]
Inevitably, there are going to be times where you’re making a decision with your wife and you realize that she actually cares way more about the choices on the table than you do. Maybe it’s obvious that there is a choice she really favors over another, but she still wants you to weigh in.
In times like these, it’s still okay to defer to your wife… Being the leader doesn’t mean that you have to be the one to make every decision. But, it DOES mean that you need to show your wife you CARE about the decisions that matter to her, even if they don’t matter as much to you.
Let’s go back to the date night example…
Instead of saying, “I don’t know, you pick,” it’s much better to say, “I will trust whatever decision you make.” This way, you are still being decisive… You are making a firm decision to NOT be the one to make the decision!
Kinda cool, right? Look at the difference here… One way shows your wife that you’re apathetic; the other way shows her that you trust her and care about her opinions. [/thrive_text_block]
In the End, It Doesn’t Matter Why or How You Do It…
You Just Have to Be More Decisive
Remember, [thrive_highlight highlight=’#eeee22′ text=’dark’]women are biologically attracted to leadership[/thrive_highlight]. And leaders make decisions.
So, starting today, be decisive!
Keep this decision to be decisive always in the back of your mind, and constantly check yourself to make sure you’re not falling into old habits.
Yes, it is easy to be indecisive, or apathetic, or apologetic, or whatever mode of lackluster decision-making you naturally lean to. It’s HARD to make a decision and stick to it.
[thrive_headline_focus title=”Nobody Said Leadership Would Be Easy” orientation=”center”]
Although, honestly, husbandly leadership is more about awareness than skill… As you learn more about what a husbandly leader looks like, you’ll naturally find yourself making changes in your behavior.
That being said, let’s not underplay what you’re doing here… Husbandly leadership is the hardest thing you will ever do, if for no other reason than because of the state of your marriage right now. Maintaining husbandly leadership comes naturally, but regaining it when your wife wants out takes grit, persistence and strength.
These first five steps have been all about making inward changes in yourself to start regaining husbandly leadership. In Step 6, we’re going to start preparing you for the outward changes necessary to revive your marriage. This is where it starts getting fun!
[thrive_link color=’blue’ link=’https://inside.husbandhelphaven.com/lessons/step-6-think-like-a-millionaire/’ target=’_self’ size=’big’ align=’aligncenter’]Click Here to Go To Step 6[/thrive_link]