Step 10. Woo Her Like a Slow Cooker


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[thrive_text_block color=”note” headline=””]Step 10 to gain husbandly leadership is a lesson on how a husbandly leader should be applying his leadership in the area of intimacy. If you feel frustrated with your sex life, this lesson is for you.[/thrive_text_block]

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Pull up a chair, sonny.

Time for us to have “The Talk”.

That’s right, the birds and the bees. There is chirping and buzzing in the air.

Brace yourself, because in this step you’re going to learn how women work.

Let me preface this by saying that I know many of you do not have a sex life to apply these lessons to right now…

Others of you have a very sparse sex life, or an emotionless sex life…

However, no matter what your bedroom situation, you can apply the lessons you’ll learn below to your marriage. If nothing else, you will gain empathy for the gentler sex.

And hey, no matter what your current situation, as you grow into the type of leader that your wife WANTS to be with, as you become more ATTRACTIVE to her, sex will hopefully become more frequent.

So let’s talk about it.

First, let’s start with the basics.

[thrive_headline_focus title=”WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF SEX?” orientation=”center”]

Here’s a question for you:

What is sex? What is its purpose in marriage?

Think about it…

To put it simply, sex is the physical embodiment of the perfect marriage relationship.

Remember what we learned about in the last lesson? You learned that in the perfect marriage, your pleasure is your wife’s pleasure, and hers is yours.

Sex is the physical manifestation of that perfect marriage relationship. When you have sex with your wife, your pleasure is literally her pleasure, and her pleasure is literally your pleasure.

But, I’m not just here to tell you that sex is beautiful and pleasurable… You already knew that.

I’m here to tell you about the difference between a man and woman.

[thrive_text_block color=”red” headline=”MEN ARE BUILT LIKE MICROWAVES”]We heat up fast, we finish quickly, and we want our sexual sustenance now.[/thrive_text_block]

[thrive_text_block color=”orange” headline=”WOMEN ARE BUILT LIKE SLOW COOKERS”]They heat up slowly, they finish slowly, and they have to be turned on for a while before they feel any sexual sustenance.[/thrive_text_block]

[thrive_headline_focus title=”What does this mean for your marriage and for your sex life?” orientation=”left”]

It means that as the man, [thrive_highlight highlight=’#eeee22′ text=’dark’]it will always be your job to initiate sex[/thrive_highlight].

Read that sentence again, carefully this time.

I have heard from too many men who are frustrated because their wife never initiates sex. Well, guess what? That’s no surprise, because this is just how men and women are built!

Just like in the rest of marriage, it is the man’s responsibility to lead in the bedroom. But you can’t lead your wife as if she were a man and expect her to find that attractive, pleasurable or fulfilling. You MUST treat her as a woman. And women want different things than men, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy.

[one_half_first][thrive_text_block color=”red” headline=””]Generally, us guys feel acceptance through the physical act of sex. In other words, physical arousal leads to emotional arousal.[/thrive_text_block][/one_half_first][one_half_last][thrive_text_block color=”orange” headline=””]Women are the opposite. Women feel acceptance through the emotional act of sex. Emotional arousal leads to physical arousal.[/thrive_text_block][/one_half_last]

With this comparison in mind, how do you normally approach your wife?

[thrive_text_block color=”light” headline=”EMOTIONAL AROUSAL VS. PHYSICAL AROUSAL”]What exactly is emotional arousal, and how is it different from physical arousal?

Emotional arousal is basically when your wife feels a surge of love for you as a man. It’s when she thinks to herself, “I’m so lucky I have this man in my life,” or, “I’m so glad this man is my husband.” It’s like an overwhelming feeling of fondness and appreciation. She gets these feelings when you do things that really make her feel loved and valued.

The question is, how can you create this emotional arousal for your wife OUTSIDE of physical intimacy? Honestly, there are countless ways, but here are a couple articles that might help you come up with some for yourself:

As for physical arousal, well, you probably don’t need me to explain that one since most of us guys are already very familiar with that. Physical arousal is what happens when your wife catches your eye and you want to have her.[/thrive_text_block]

Now that you know the difference , let’s go back to what we said earlier:


[pullquote align=”normal”]For men, physical arousal leads to emotional arousal.

For women, emotional arousal leads to physical arousal. [/pullquote]

Are you considerate of the differences between male and female arousal?

You will find much more success in the bedroom if you take it upon yourself to be your wife’s sexual leader, and to appeal to her emotional arousal BEFORE you expect her physical arousal.

Well… That’s the last step to gain husbandly leadership! All that’s left now is for you to start putting these steps into practice.

Don’t worry if you mess up every now and then, nobody’s perfect. Leadership certainly has a learning curve. The important thing is that you keep diligently making progress over time.

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[thrive_text_block color=”note” headline=”You’re Done!”][thrive_progress_bar count=”1″ label0=”Course Complete!” percentage0=”100″ color0=”orange”]Thanks so much for working through this ecourse… I put a ton of time and energy into creating it. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me at[/thrive_text_block]

[thrive_link color=’blue’ link=’’ target=’_self’ size=’big’ align=’aligncenter’]Click Here to See What’s Next[/thrive_link]

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