Step 1. You’re In Control of Your Happiness

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[thrive_text_block color=”note” headline=””]Welcome to the first lesson! This is Step 1 to gain husbandly leadership, and it’s all about how you should view yourself. This lesson forms the foundation for everything that comes after. [/thrive_text_block]

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Let me start by asking you a question:

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How much of your own happiness have you set aside for the sake of your marriage?

I’m willing to bet that right now you are completely unhappy. Not just with your marriage, but with yourself as a man. You’ve prioritized your marriage and your wife over yourself.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, in fact, your wife SHOULD be a higher priority than yourself. But, a good husband cannot be dependent on his wife for his own happiness.  You must be happy with YOU, and you must be happy apart from your wife.

Here’s the secret…

… Are you ready?

[thrive_toggles_group”][thrive_toggles title=”Click here to see the secret” no=”1/1″][pullquote align=”normal”]The best and only way to get your wife back is actually to let her go. [/pullquote][/thrive_toggles][/thrive_toggles_group]

Wait a minute. Read that one more time.

Let it sink in. Honestly, for most men it takes several weeks for the true impact of this concept to hit them. You’ll know when it does.

And no, I don’t mean you need to tell HER that you’re letting her go. You don’t have to make a big show of how you’re going to be happy with or without her. The point is that you tell YOURSELF that you’re going to be happy with or without her.

As easy as it sounds on the surface, this is actually a very difficult concept to put into practice.

This isn’t about creating distance, it’s about creating control. Or rather, it’s about understanding what you CAN control, which is one thing…

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No matter how hard you try, you can’t control your wife. You can’t change how she thinks or force her to feel a different way. You can only control you. So, you must let her go to get her back.

This is very difficult to say to you, because I know it sounds totally backwards. I know that you really DO need your wife. You want her back more than anything.

But listen closely:

[thrive_text_block color=”blue” headline=””]You need to show her – and yourself – that you DON’T need her if you ever want her to feel like she DOES need you.[/thrive_text_block]

The fact of the matter is that your wife does not like it when you’re unhappy with yourself.

It’s unattractive.

It’s a turn off.

And it makes you seem needy.

On the contrary, when your wife sees and feels that you are happy with yourself, she will naturally find you more attractive.

I’m not saying you can’t ever be unhappy.  Sometimes life gives you lemons, and you don’t have the sugar to make lemonade.

But, it’s in those bad times that it’s even more important for your wife to be able to rely on you to LEAD the way to a happy marriage.

You Don’t Have a Choice;
You NEED To Be Confident

You can’t LEAD if you’re unhappy with the man you see in the mirror, or if you feel like you have no control over your future. If you can’t even control yourself, how can you possibly hope to control the flow of your marriage?!

In short, when you can’t be an effective husbandly leader, then you have to turn back to your wife for self-worth. When you don’t lead, your wife has no choice but to lead herself. And that is not how sustainable marriages are made.

It’s time to stand on your own two feet. Get to a place where you can look yourself in the mirror and say:

“I will be happy, because I like who I am.”

Inevitably as you start regaining self-esteem, your wife will start finding you more and more attractive. And as I will continue to emphasize as long as you stay Inside the Haven, ATTRACTION is what will save your marriage.

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In Step 2, you’re going to learn how to prevent the self-confidence that you learned about today from slipping away tomorrow.

[thrive_link color=’blue’ link=’https://inside.husbandhelphaven.com/lessons/step-2-be-her-unbreakable-rock/’ target=’_self’ size=’big’ align=’aligncenter’]Click Here to Go To Step 2[/thrive_link]

About the author 

Stephen

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