Question 2. Who do I want to see in the mirror?

The Answer
The man I was made to be / want to be is ________, ________ and ________ .

This is the question you ask yourself to remember the identity you want to embody, both now and in the future. 

If I were answering this question personally, I would probably say something like this...

The man I was made to be is determined, disciplined and loving. 

These three traits embody much of who I want to be. I personally like thinking of questions like this in terms of life purpose (hence why I refer to the man I was *made* to be), but if that's not your style, you can also simply remind yourself who you want to be, whether or not you're representing that man now.

The point is, you're reminding yourself what the ideal "you" looks like.

As you ask yourself this question over and over, you may find that your answers change or refine over time, based on where you're at in your separation and in your life, as well as where your struggle is at.

So, for example, if you're struggling to keep your temper in check, you may answer this question like...

The man I want to be doesn't take everything personally, thinks before he speaks, and strives to be kind at all times.

So you see? You can be as detailed or not as you want.

The point is that you are trying to pick out aspects of your character that you want to highlight to yourself on any given day or week.

  • What are the best qualities in yourself that you want to be reminded of?
  • What are the qualities you're working to develop, even in the midst of a difficult marriage crisis?

Thinking about these things will help you stay the course and remember what it is you need to be doing in order to feel like you're doing a good job.

Constantly reaffirming the character you want to uphold will make it easier to ward off discouragement and apathy from creeping in and crippling the man you want to be.

Remind yourself of your "why". Remind yourself of what you need to do to walk through this chapter of your life with head held high. That's what this question is all about.